


Louder Than Words

by amethyst-noir (Arbonne)



Series: Prompt Collection [91]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Hurt Stephen Strange, Insecure Tony Stark, M/M, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Protective Tony Stark, Shy Stephen Strange, Stephen Strange & Wong Friendship, Tony/Stephen/Pepper mentioned but only in other timelines, but she's only a memory here, lots of comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbonne/pseuds/amethyst-noir
Summary: "But… Pepper? Morgan?" It hurt just to think about the potential. Of what Stephen had to carry with him."Shhh. They are not here.Youare. You realize that it's alwaysyouthat draws me in, right? Everything else, whatever we end up being for each other - it always starts with the two of us. Anything - andanyone- else is optional, even if very treasured. You aren't. You are a constant in my life."(Stephen's mind is torn apart by too many memories of too many doomed timelines and it falls to Tony to fix him. Thankfully, Tony is good at fixing not only broken things but also broken sorcerers.)
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: Prompt Collection [91]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1126062
Comments: 32
Kudos: 214
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Louder Than Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [atypicalsnowman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atypicalsnowman/gifts).



> This is my answer to the following two prompts:
> 
> _(I’m “readwithcaution” on Ao3). Maybe an Ironstrange prompt where (post Thanos and everyone is alive/all is well) Strange is trying to deal with having fallen completely in love with Tony from using the Time Stone and seeing/living all those timelines with Tony; and he’s trying to keep his relationship with Tony professional and polite in order to keep himself from doing anything that would out his true feelings… If only Tony would stop butting himself into Strange’s life and refusing to take the hints to let Strange suffer in silence… Tony’s always been terrible with leaving things alone._
> 
> _Not a prompt, nothing actually but eventually something. Pink Floyd 'Louder Than Words'. /Its louder than words – the sum of our parts/The beat of our hearts is louder than words/_
> 
> Oh, _The Endless River_? I love that one, it's one of my favorite albums to listen to while writing. Thank you so much for this and I hope that you like what I made out of it. It started out as some random scene in my head and eventually became this. I hope you like angst, dear anon, because there is a ton of it in here but also the usual sweet tenderness and a happy ending with lots of cuddling. The second prompt is not really here but I took heavy inspiration for the vaguely implied backstory for this. Since I'm pretty sure that I'll never going to write that particular fic it seemed right to at least acknowledge it here. I'm sorry, dear readwithcaution.  
> There is some drpepperony in this story but it's just a few random memories of other timelines. The story itself is firmly Ironstrange. Tony wouldn't want it any other way. Stephen is his, and his alone.
> 
> @badthingshappenbingo prompt: _Fighting from the Inside_

_"Hey, Stephen. You're okay. You're here with us. Everything's gonna turn out fine, you'll see."_

_Strong arms supporting him from behind, Tony's reassuring voice in his ear and Pepper's hands cradling his face._

_"Look at me, Stephen," she begged. "We're here. We're real. Promise."_

_He opened his eyes and looked at their dead bodies._

*

Waking up from yet another detour into a doomed timeline Stephen lacked the strength to do anything apart from curling up from his side. He should get up and get ready - today was the day of his first date with Tony. Or was it tomorrow? No. Today. He had to get ready. He tried to move but the room slipped away and…

*

_"Hey, daddy, Stephen, look what I made!" He looked at Morgan and the love he felt for the girl eclipsed everything else, apart from the feeling of Tony's arms around him as he held on tight._

*

The Cloak did its best to support and shelter him but he was too exhausted to acknowledge its help. Just like he was too lethargic to cry and so he just stared straight ahead, waiting for the next one to hit him.

He didn't have to wait long.

* * *

"Hey, wizard! Where are you? Long time no see!"

Tony's voice echoed across the foyer of the Sanctum. It was still an unsettling feeling that the museum let him in by itself but in lieu of a proper AI to run the place it was very convenient. He had to talk to Stephen about that once they got over the first awkward stages of that thing between them and settled down into a proper relationship. It was unfair to keep his babies in deep freeze when they could benefit this place and its inhabitants so much.

"Honey, I'm home!" There. _That_ should get Stephen moving, if only to complain.

Still no reaction. Which was unusual because normally at least Stephen's cape swooped in to greet him. Stephen was home, he knew that. They had a date, after all. Their very first one after eons of dancing around each other and Stephen shying away the second Tony crossed some invisible and ever-changing boundary.

No trace of him in the library, nor the kitchen. Tony kept calling but still no response was to be had and his unease grew by the second.

"Stephen? If you don't come out right now, I swear, I'm going to hunt you down in your bedroom or wherever you are." Maybe the shower? Ambushing Stephen under the shower might be fun and a chance to see a little bit of skin.

 _That_ got him a reaction, at least, even if it wasn't the one he'd wanted. He saw a hint of red in his periphery vision and turned around just as the Cloak came down the grand stairway.

It was unbelievable but he could _see_ the thing's unhappiness. Its collar dropped and instead of the usual, enthusiastic waving it barely lifted a corner to greet him.

"Hey, what's up?" The Cloak's behavior made him nervous and he didn't like it. "Where's your man? We have a date, you know." A date he'd been looking forward to ever since the moment Stephen had smiled shyly and nodded his approval.

He got an at least somewhat enthusiastic nod for that and some sort of gentle groping as the cloak grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the stairs.

"Up we go?" Tony asked - mostly to keep the oppressive and frankly terrifying silence of the place at bay. Not that his inane question got him any answer, apart from a rather forceful squeeze. Somehow, Tony doubted that the Cloak was this rough with Stephen. Or maybe the guy liked it rough? Tony didn't know but he intended to find out as soon as possible.

"Are you taking me to his bedroom? Really? I thought that he'd want to have at least the resemblance of a date before he tries to get into my pants. Not that I mind. Much."

Instead of a wet and naked sorcerer the Cloak brought him to a man who was miserably curled up in bed, hands hidden under a thick blanket, blankly stared ahead and didn't even react when Tony came into his bedroom. The Cloak immediately left Tony and settled over Stephen as lightly as if it was a feather.

It took Tony a moment to really get the picture in front of him. "Stephen?" he tried hesitantly. "Hey, you okay? Obviously not but what's up? Can I help? How? Stephen? Talk to me, sweetheart, you know how much I like your voice."

No reaction, not even to the stupid endearment Tony hadn't managed to keep in. Fuck, this was serious and not a stomach flu or something.

"Stephen?" He tried to make his voice as gentle as possible and to keep his rising panic out of it. "Hey," he said again just as he was crouching down in front of the miserable ball of sorcerer.

Stephen was staring right at - no, _through_ \- him; his beautiful eyes empty and glassy with tears. It hurt to look at him and Tony reached out to wipe away the tears before he could talk himself out of it.

Stephen's skin was clammy and he didn't react to the gentle touch. Tony looked at the Cloak, which had settled over Stephen again, and shivered himself. "You've been trying to get him out of this all alone, haven't you?"

Whatever 'this' was. Once again, he asked himself why he'd never seen anyone but Stephen and Wong in this magical palace - it was big enough for dozens, if not more, people but Stephen seemed to be the loneliest man he'd ever met apart from himself. The guy looked like hell. He'd never looked really healthy in all the time Tony had known him so far, even after having recovered from torture and death, but apart from the very first day of their acquaintance Tony had never seen Stephen look _this_ bad. A gaunt and pale face, dark circles under red-rimmed eyes and an empty look in his eyes that scared Tony half to death

"Hey," he tried once again. "Earth to wizard. It's time to come home. Your cape misses you." He didn't even get swatted for that. "And I do, too," he added even more quietly. "If you don't want to go on a date with me there are better ways to avoid it then to go catatonic, you know? I know the meaning of the words 'no' and 'not interested'." He touched Stephen's cheek again and this time he got a tiny gasp. "Stephen?"

Stephen's eyes closed and he took a deep breath. When he opened them again he seemed to actually _see_ his surroundings. "Tony?" he whispered. "Are you real?"

 _What the...?_ "As far as I know? Yes, I am. But I don't particularly want to get into a philosophical discussion with you right now." He wiped fresh tears away. "It's no fun when my opponent is not quite here with me." He paused for a moment, tracking Stephen's eye-movements and his breathing. He wanted to order FRIDAY to scan him but that was an invasion for privacy he didn't have any permission for. "What's going on, Stephen?"

Instead of an answer Stephen uncurled enough to get his right hand out from under the blankets and to rest it on top of the mattress, right in front of Tony as if to offer it for inspection. He was just in a t-shirt, none of his usual long-sleeved shirts or sorcery outfits, the scarring not only on his hands but also his underarms clear to see. He had beautiful hands, scars and trembling notwithstanding. For the first time Tony could indulge his curiosity and look at one of them without fear of being caught and judged.

The deep and dark bruises around the wrist, crowned with a bloody gash at the side, overshadowed anything else.

"What the…"

"The Cloak got a little bit too wild while restraining me," Stephen explained before Tony could finish. "Don't worry, I ordered it to do so, otherwise the damage would be much worse."

The blood must come from the metal ornaments on the collar, Tony realized to his horror. How the hell had the Cloak held him down to hurt him like that? A full-on body tackle? The Cloak in question just waved sadly at Tony before stroking Stephen's cheek gently to offer comfort. Instinctively, Tony reached out and caressed the soft fabric. He just _knew_ that the Cloak was hurting over having hurt Stephen.

"Why did you order your Cloak to hold you down, Stephen?" he asked as carefully as possible. _Don't spook him_ , he reminded himself. _Keep him talking. Don't let him slip away again._ "What's going on? We've won, everything is as perfect as it's ever going to be and you seem to deteriorate right in front of me." While his left hand still caressed the Cloak he put his right back on Stephen's face. "Is it some weird magic thing? An aftereffect of you being…" _gone, dusted, **dead**. _"God, is Peter going to be okay? All the others?" He needed to take care of that. Bandage it or something. Anything to support Stephen's fragile wrist and keep him from hurting himself further by accident.

"Shh, Tony, it's okay, they are okay. _Peter_ is okay." Stephen smiled a little bit but it did nothing to reassure Tony, just the opposite. A worldwide problem was something he could deal with. Just one person? So much harder. The person he loved? Almost impossible.

"This is just me finally cracking under the pressure," Stephen continued. "I would say sorry that you had to see it but if you insist on spending time with me you'll see it happen again. I thought I could get it under control or I would have never said yes to this thing between us. Wong is in…" he hesitated, clearly unwilling to reveal too much, "… his library, trying to find something to suppress or remove the memories before they break me for good." He swallowed hard and closed his eyes as if to escape Tony but he didn't try to get away from Tony's touch. "There isn't much left. Time, I mean," he clarified. "For me. Fuck, I'm making no sense. Sorry. Maybe later. Did you put Morgan to bed?"

"Who the fuck is Morgan?" Tony blurted out in horror while his imagination was already going into overdrive to try to connect the dots. "And why should I put him or her to bed?"

"Oh, so this is one without her." Stephen opened his eyes again but it was clear that his mind had slipped away again. "I'm sorry. There shouldn't be a single timeline where you don't have her." Fuck, now Stephen was crying again. "I never meant to…"

"Stephen," he began but broke off when the first few pieces of the million-parts puzzle started to come together. "You're remembering different timelines," he realized. "And mixing them together in your mind. Fuck, please, tell me that I'm wrong, I'd like to be wrong for once in my life. Stephen, sweetheart, please…" No one could survive that, it was simple as that. Stephen's mind must be imploding right now and Tony had a front-row seat to the horror show.

"Morgan is your daughter," Stephen told him, his voice sounding like he was in a trance. "Yours and Pepper's. She's beautiful, and clever, and kind just like her parents. The sweetest little girl in the universe. It's not right when you don't have her."

 _No. No, not this, please._ Not talk about Pepper, or kids, for the love of everything - that road was permanently closed for Tony. He'd chosen Iron Man over Pepper years ago and then, after Thanos' defeat, he'd made the conscious decision to pursue one stubborn, beautiful, and adorably shy wizard, while knowing perfectly well that it might break his heart all over again. Pepper and the dream of having kids and a normal life where in his past, never to be spoken off again.

Stephen was the most important person for Tony. Right now and - hopefully - for the rest of his life.

"There is no Morgan," he said, swallowing down his own tears. He didn't even know if they were for Stephen or some hypothetical daughter. "And Pepper has moved on from me a long time ago." The reminder _hurt_ , damnit, but Stephen couldn't know that. They hadn't talked about things like that, they were still dancing around each other. This, right here and now had been supposed to be their first real date. He reached out and brushed Stephen's hair out of his face in an attempt to shove the bitter what-if's away. "But there's _you_. How can we fix this? There must be a way to get rid of all those memories." He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and committed himself fully to this. To Stephen. "I don't want you to remember other versions of me. Or a family that'll never exist. _I_ want to be enough for you."

"Tony." Stephen reached out and Tony caught his hand by instinct, carefully holding on to his bruised wrist. Stephen relaxed, trusting Tony not to hurt him. "You always are. Enough, I mean. In every timeline where we're lucky enough to survive we somehow click. Sometimes as friends, sometimes as lovers," he hesitated and Tony _knew_ that he wouldn't like whatever came next. But Stephen was, amongst many other things, brutally honest. One of the qualities Tony liked about him, even if it drove him insane from time to time.

"Sometimes?" he coaxed when Stephen didn't continue.

"Sometimes it's us. With Pepper. Or I should say it's her and you and I."

Oh. _Oh._ All things considered the thought was rather nice actually. "And this Morgan girl?"

Stephen nodded. "Sometimes. Not always, but often enough." Another pause. "In every timeline, whenever you have a child, it's always her." He sighed and took his hand back to slowly sit up. Tony wanted to help but knew that it wouldn't be welcome. He folded his hands in his lap instead and watched as Stephen painfully struggled into an upright position. "Sorry to dump this on you. I shouldn't but I have trouble keeping my mouth shut."

"I noticed." He didn't know what to say. Or rather there was _too much_ to say and he didn't know where to begin. He tried to soften his words with a smile but feared that it came out more of a grimace. "One of the things we have in common. I like it, actually. You get me in a way not many people do. Means that I don't have to watch every word I say." He reached out, his intention clear.

Now it was Stephen's turn to smile. "As if you ever do that." He offered his left wrist for inspection. "This one is okay. Or as okay as it's ever going to get. The Cloak tried to get me to calm down and cut me in the process." If it had the ability to speak the Cloak would have gasped, Tony could _feel_ it. They both reached out at the same time to pet the distressed fabric. "Shh, not your fault. I would have done myself much more damage without you." The implication was chilling. Did Stephen get violent? Or so desperate to get away from himself that he had to be restrained? He wanted to ask so badly but Stephen beat him.

"I don't get violent," he said, directly looking into Tony's eyes. "But when I'm out of it I forget to be careful and," he raised his hands, "it's not pleasant when I try to grasp something too hard." Yes, Tony had noticed how lightly Stephen tended to touch things, the few times he'd touched Tony's bare skin it had been light as a butterfly's touch. "The Cloak restrains me to keep me from further pain for days on end." He swallowed hard and looked away, obviously ashamed.

"Hey. I get it. It's good to have a friend like that. People like us need them in their lives." Tony watched with interest as the Cloak wound part of itself around Stephen's right wrist as if to hide the injury from view. "I've never seen your wrists before," he realized all of a sudden. "They're always… oh." This was the first time he'd seen Stephen in something short-sleeved.

Stephen nodded in answer to the unspoken question. "My clothes are spelled to support them, yes."

He held out both hands in an unbelievable display of trust, the Cloak falling away to reveal everything. Tony stared for a long moment before he chose the right one. He put his left hand under it to support it, gently gripping Stephen's wrist while he used the fingers of his right to explore the scars, keeping away from the open wound but gently tracing the outline of the bruise around it. The Cloak tenderly took Stephen's left wrist and wrapped it up before lowering it down to rest on Stephen's thigh. He let it happen with a small shudder and a quiet sigh.

"Fortunately, I rather like the feeling of having something tight around my wrists," he confessed in a deadpan voice and laughed out loud when Tony choked on air. "Don't get any ideas, Tony," he added a heartbeat later.

"Pity, there is a lot I could have done with that information." Tony's overactive imagination was already very busy presenting him with all of them. "It's a little bit much for a first date, I have to admit. Normally I wait until at least the third before I bring up bondage."

"I didn't know you're into bondage," Stephen mused. He shivered when Tony tightened his hold around his wrist just the tiniest bit and traced the scars on the palm of his hand. Tony watched in interest as Stephen's fingers curled inwards a little bit but not nearly far enough. "Also: Date? I know that my standards are low these days but does this really count?"

"It totally does," Tony answered absently. "I thought you knew everything about me. You know so many different versions of me but we must share some things." The reminder stung. Where there any secrets left for Stephen to discover? Or was Tony doomed to play hopeless catch-up forever if this thing between them went any further at all? Could they ever have a first kiss? A first time making love to each other? Without Stephen comparing it to other versions of Tony who were probably so much better at this anyway?

"Hey." Stephen's left hand touched his chin and gently forced his head up until he had to look into Stephen's eyes. He didn't dare to try to resist in fear of hurting Stephen. "I have bits of pieces of other Tony Stark's. I don't know _you_ that well. Yet. But I'd like to." Fuck, was that a _blush_ on Stephen's pretty face?

"But… Pepper? Morgan?" It hurt just to think about the potential. Of what Stephen had to carry with him.

"Shhh. They are not here. _You_ are. You realize that it's always _you_ that draws me in, right? Everything else, whatever we end up being for each other - it always starts with the two of us. Anything - and _anyone_ \- else is optional, even if very treasured. You aren't. You are a constant in my life."

Tony had to blink away tears at that. "Wow, that might be the most romantic thing I've ever heard." So of course he had to ruin it. "What about the timelines where I don't make it?" He wasn't stupid and he'd barely survived in this one.

Stephen shuddered and he closed his eyes in an obvious attempt to keep those memories at bay. Tony was such a fucking idiot.

"Stephen? Baby? Sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"I don't make it either," Stephen interrupted him as if he hadn't heard him. "Not for long anyway." He shook himself out of if by sheer force of will. "Those timelines are crap anyway. A world without Tony Stark in it is not a place anybody wants to live in."

"You mean Iron Man."

Stephen's free hand moved from his chin to his cheek, cupping his face gently. "I meant what I said, stupid. _You're_ the important one, not Iron Man." He leaned in, his intention to kiss Tony clear as day, but hesitated at the very last moment. It fell to Tony to lean forwards, close the last bit of distance between them, and instigate their first kiss.

Stephen's tiny pleased moan at that instantly became one of his favorite sounds ever and he spent the next few minutes trying to elicit it over and over again.

He smiled into the kiss when he felt a trembling land on the back of his neck, keeping him in place, while Stephen's right hand came to rest on Tony's waist. Despite all that he let Tony all the control over the kissing itself. Tony ended it with a soft bite to Stephen's lower lip, getting yet another one of those delicious moans as a reward, and drew back just far enough that their foreheads could touch.

"Wow," he whispered.

Gentle laughter shook Stephen's whole body. "Yeah. That sums it up."

"Better than other versions of me?" Tony had never known when to leave something alone and he wasn't about to start with it now.

Surprisingly, there was no frustration, no sudden tension in Stephen's body and no effort on his part to end their embrace. "I haven't been so grounded in this timeline since the moment you got me out of my daze by calling me and touching me. Right now I can't remember anything but you. This."

Damn, Stephen really seemed to have made it his mission to blow Tony away with his casual words of utter devotion. Tony gently stroked down his right arm until he could encircle Stephen's bruised wrist with his fingers. "You've been having problem since that moment?" All these months of careful dancing around each other since Stephen's return and Tony had never suspected that he was suffering. _You're too good of an actor, sweetheart._ He had to start paying more attention to the details.

A slight nod that moved Tony's head along with Stephen's. "It's all a mess inside here. I could keep it together during the fight because there weren't that many variants but after that - every breath I take branches into a different timeline and it is so hard to keep them straight…"

"Shhh, don't." Tony interrupted. He moved his head back to get the strain off his neck and touched Stephen's forehead. "Let it all go. I think by now we have established that nothing about us is straight anyway." He got a small grin for the reminder. "Just concentrate on the here and now. On _me_."

Stephen took a deep breath. "I can do that," he promised. "It's easier when I have someone who grounds me. The Cloak tries it's best but sadly words aren't its strong suit." The fabric in question curled around itself at that and Tony moved to pet it in consolation.

"If you need words I have a lot of them," he promised. "Tons. Millions. I can talk until you beg for mercy. Although, thinking about it, you begging for mercy sounds good. We have to try that someday."

"You really are kinky, aren't you?"

Stephen truly didn't know, Tony realized to his delight. "Sometimes," he confessed. "When the mood is right and my partner is okay with it." He had a feeling that Stephen would be okay with some light playing around in that direction. "But like with so many things in my life I'm more words than deeds in that regard, I'm afraid."

"Hmm. Interesting. And unexpected" Nothing more but the mischievous grin gave Stephen away. Oh, they were going to have so much fun! As soon as Stephen's pretty head wasn't full to bursting with the wrong memories.

 _That_ thought brought Tony back to reality. He touched Stephen's temple. "But first you need to make some space for new memories. Any ideas on how to achieve that? You told me that Wong is looking into it but what have you already tried? Any way to format the biological hard drive without erasing the important data? Hey, can we maybe restore it to a backup before all the crap happened? Although… no, scrap that, that's a bad idea. You would forget everything about…" _Us._

Stephen sighed, snuggled closer into Tony's embrace and put his head on Tony's shoulder. "Yes, he is and please, stop making comparisons like that," he begged. "They hurt my brain. I tried meditation, I tried blocking them, I tried to exorcise them with a spell - but apart from a headache there haven't been any results and I don't want to 'wipe my internal hard drive' as you so nicely put it. I just have to find a way to…"

"… outsource them? Put them into the cloud?"

Stephen groaned. "Mercy, please."

"See? I already have you begging for mercy and we haven't done anything yet. I'm really that good." Laughter, once again, and Tony grinned. "Seriously, what can I do? I can talk to you until the end of the world but that's not a solution." He went silent when an awful thought occurred. "Stephen?"

"Hmm?"

"What happens when you sleep?"

Silence and the sudden tension of the slender body in his arms gave him the answer to that.

"I tend to not sleep much these days," Stephen finally confessed. "I meditate instead. Easier to keep some resemblance of control over my mind that way. Not that it's working that well lately."

So, nightmares it was, not that Tony was surprised. That also explained Stephen's exhaustion and deteriorating condition.

"I noticed." Tony tightened his hold, thinking hard, considering all the variables. "Me being here helps, right?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

A nod and near-silent "yes".

"Okay, it seems we're doomed to do things out of order so: Time to get horizontal." This was so not the way he had expected to get into Stephen's bed but whatever. Stephen was challenging him left and right, forcing Tony to adapt on the fly. Surprisingly, he didn't mind. He'd always loved a challenge, after all. Kept things interesting.

"It pains me to say it but I'm really not in the mood." A fragment of Stephen's biting wit was back. As if he didn't know exactly what Tony intended.

"Sorry, gorgeous, but no sex until you're better and completely with me. I'm not going to compete with myself, thank you very much." He gently lowered a surprisingly pliant and non-protesting Stephen down until his head was resting on the pillow again. "Anything I have to know before you slip away?" He didn't think that it would take long for Stephen to succumb to his exhaustion.

"I don't get violent," Stephen repeated softly. "Just restless." He swallowed and forced his already half-closed eyes open again. "The Cloak will know what to do. Just let it." He shifted onto his right side, so that he could press his face against Tony's left hip. "I'm sorry for ruining our first date. I tried so hard, promise, I really wanted to…"

Tony's heart broke so hard and fast that he could not only feel but almost _hear_ it crack. "Shh," _it's not okay_ , _don't be stupid,_ "it'll be alright." He put all his conviction into the promise while he stroked through Stephen's hair in an attempt to soothe him. "We'll make up for it when you're better. I'll take you out in style then before I take you home to ravish you." Basically, the things he'd originally planned to do today.

"Sounds nice," Stephen mumbled, already half asleep.

"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" Tony continued to pet Stephen under the Cloak's vigilance until he was sure that he was asleep. Then he just stared blankly at the wall, trying to process the newest curveball the universe had thrown him. The fact that Tony had fallen in love with a man who was inexorably entwined with the thing that scared him the most was already hard enough to accept but this? _Why him?_ he asked the uncaring world. _He doesn't deserve this. None of this._ As if constant pain and disability wasn't enough punishment already, no, mental instability had to be put into the mix too.

"You're really kind of perfect for me, hmm?" he asked the sleeping man. "Just as screwed up as me, just in slightly different ways. Great. That's gonna be fun."

He wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Not even the magic or the sentient and slightly scary outerwear. Fuck the other timelines, this was the one they had and Tony was determined to make the best out of it.

The Cloak touched his hand and 'looked' at him as if to add its support to his unspoken vow. Tony reached out to pet it. "Guess we're in this together now. The 'taking care of the wizard' business I mean."

It nodded and carefully wound itself around Stephen's left wrist, leaving the right one for Tony.

Stephen's bed was gigantic and he had left more than enough space for Tony to lie down next to him. Some shifting around and he was face to face with him. "Hey, beautiful," Tony whispered. "Sweet dreams. Don't think about anyone but me, okay? This me, not some other version where I'm blonde. Or have blue eyes. Or am a girl or whatever other sideways versions of me exist out there."

 _Don't dream about a family_ , he begged silently. He would give Stephen everything he could - his heart, his soul, his money, his name, _everything_ , but he couldn't give him Morgan.

"Let me be enough for you," he begged. "Please."

* * *

_"Daddy! You're back!"_

_Stephen shared a smile with Pepper as Morgan barreled down the stairs and into Tony who barely managed to catch her before she could topple them both._

_"Hey, little lady! That's quite the greeting! What's going on here? You said you have something to show me?"_

_Tony went down on his knees to give Morgan the chance to cling to him like the little koala she was. He looked up and grinned first at Pepper, then at Stephen. After a moment the grin became a soft smile. He grabbed Morgan and, with only a little effort, picked her up to collect his welcome home kiss from Pepper. After that he turned around to Stephen._

_"Hello, stranger. What a nice surprise to see you here." Somehow managing to hold on to Morgan with only one hand he put his free one on the back of Stephen's neck and drew him into a kiss. "Nice to have you home," he said as if he wasn't the one who had just come home from a trip oversees._

_"Nice to be home," Stephen said just as softly._

* * *

"Tony."

His name on Stephen's lips two hours later was barely a whisper but it was enough to bring Tony's mind back from its aimless wandering. "Stephen? What is it, sweetheart?"

Instead of a verbal answer he got an aimlessly wandering hand. He caught it before Stephen could get too wild, his words about overtaxing himself still echoing in Tony's mind.

"Shh. Relax. It's okay. I'm here." He swallowed and, after a moment of consideration, squeezed Stephen's fingers lightly. He didn't dare to do more in fear of hurting him. "Whatever you're dreaming of can't be as good as what's waiting for you here."

Except if Stephen was dreaming about this Morgan girl again. The thought of her hurt so much that Tony could feel it as physical pain in his chest. "I'm here," he promised, sorry that he was the only one. If anyone deserved to have a family waiting for him…

"She's not real," Stephen murmured. A quick check but his eyes were still closed and his breathing hadn't changed at all. "Just the afterimage of a possibility. I know that." It had the sound of an affirmation spoken often before.

He opened his eyes and Tony couldn't do anything but smile at him. He looked adorable. Like hell, yes, but mostly adorable. "You're here."

"Where else should I be?" He pitched his voice as low and soothing as possible, trying to ignore the unspoken message here.

It took Stephen a while to work through that. Tony could almost see the calculations and how he eventually arrived at the correct conclusion - aka which timeline this was.

Tony tried to smile in gentle encouragement but feared that it looked more like a pained grimace. "Hi," he whispered. "Slept well?"

Stephen blinked at that. "Yes, actually," he answered after a little bit more contemplation. "Had a nice dream."

"Good." Tony was pretty sure that he didn't want to know about it. "We'll repeat that as often as necessary."

"Repeat what?"

"You sleeping. Right next to me if necessary." He gave in to the constant temptation and stroked over one of those tempting cheekbones. He got a beautiful full-body shiver in response. Stephen's responsiveness was truly breathtaking and he couldn't wait to explore it under more sensual circumstances. "I don't know if you've noticed but you look like hell."

A grimace. "Thanks for the reminder. Great way to make a guy feel desirable." He didn't protest against the exploration of his face so Tony took it as a sign to continue.

In response to that bullshit Tony leaned down and kissed him again. "Very desirable," he affirmed when he was finished stealing Stephen's air. _I just want to see you happy and healthy_ , he added silently.

"I'm sorry," Stephen said before Tony could find a way to pack that into words. "I didn't expect this to drag on for as long as it did or get this severe. A few dreams, a few scraps of memories hanging around - I was expecting that and could have dealt with it weeks ago."

"Otherwise you would never have said yes to this," Tony repeated dully, ice already forming around his heart. "This thing between us." Finally, the reason why Stephen had invited him in one day and pushed him away the next.

"No," Stephen confirmed and Tony didn't know who he was supposed to keep breathing. "But," he continued, seemingly not noticing Tony's swiftly approaching panic attack, "I'm glad I did. Say yes I mean."

The panic attack came to a screeching halt.

"You being here helps. I should have realized that before and sought you out."

The panic attack tucked in its tail, slunk away and Tony could breathe again.

"You are always good for me. I should have remembered that."

At last, there was something these other timelines were good for if they made it easier for Stephen to trust him now.

"You should have." He didn't want to imagine a timeline where he didn't do his very best to be there for Stephen. Other family or no other family. Which brought him back to the question he'd been contemplating while Stephen was resting. "Why didn't you choose any of those timelines?"

"What do you mean?"

"One where you could have a family."

Stephen's expression at that was indescribable. "I was planning for you to become my family," he eventually said, looking as if every word was torn out of his very soul and oh wow Tony hadn't expected to be blown away all over again.

He just had to kiss Stephen again and smiled in satisfaction when the tiny pleased sound came again.

"You know what I mean."

Stephen's contented expression vanished and he sighed. "Thanos wasn't defeated in any of those timelines. He just came later. Or he was defeated but something else happened that ruined everything. I looked and looked and this was the only one that eliminated the threat for good without further catastrophes in the near future following."

"How far did you look ahead?"

A shrug. "Not that long. Only a lifetime or two."

Lifetime of whom? Tony? Stephen? Peter? Years? Decades? Centuries? Bruce had told Tony about the lady that called herself The Ancient One but for once he found it easier to hold his tongue and let the sleeping dragons lie.

For the time being at last.

"How's it going in there?" he asked instead, gently tapping Stephen's forehead. "All chaos or has some form of law and order been restored in there?"

Stephen tried to swat his hand aside but it became an adorable pawing motion instead. Tony laughed at him and Stephen stuck out his tongue in retaliation. Tony had managed to find himself a very mature doctor, instead. He grinned, trying to shove the worry to the side to enjoy a little bit of uncomplicated fun between them.

He tapped Stephen's forehead again, a silent but insistent demand for an answer.

"Better," Stephen admitted after a moment. "More grounded. It's easier to keep actual memories and memories of different timelines apart. Those are harder to access right now." He looked up and somehow managed to look incredible innocent and older than his years at the same time. "It feels as if I'm in the middle of a ceasefire right now. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet."

Stephen seemed pleased but Tony wasn't.

"When will Wong be back?"

A shrug. "Whenever he has found something. I've told him that I'm meeting up with you so he knows that I'm not alone." A wry grin. "He was surprisingly hesitant to leave me alone here. We should really have more people here but we're still not finished restructuring in the wake of everything. I'm only lucky that this place more or less runs itself or I would have a problem."

Just like that another question was answered and Tony, completely atypical, was out of things to talk about. Or rather, there was too much but he didn't really want to know the things he could - and probably should - ask.

In the end, he decided on a harmless question. At least he hoped that it was harmless because the question had been nagging at him for what seemed like forever. "What's so special about this one? I mean out for 14.000.605 versions of the future there must have been others close to this one. Was makes this one the winner?"

"We both survive," was the quiet answer. "The details are getting vaguer every day as my mind plays mix-and-match with different memories but that I know for sure. It's the only one where be both survive for more than a few years down the road."

"Oh," was Tony's were eloquent answer to that lovely little bombshell.

Stephen smiled at that and struggled up into a sitting position. Tony watched the spectacle with barely concealed worry but he knew better than to offer help. He watched in silence as Stephen folded his hands in his lap, all the scars, bruising and trembling clear to see for a moment before the Cloak hid them away from view.

"I can't see beyond my own death in any given timeline." Stephen's voice was calm and detached but when Tony's right hand found the way under the Cloak Stephen held on to him like a man drowning. "But the signs of things going sideways were always already there. I learned to recognize them pretty soon."

Fuck. "And those signs are absent here?" Tony held his breath while he waited for an answer.

Stephen shrugged. "I have no idea anymore. But I guess, since I tried to steer us towards this reality. I only know that we both make it." He smiled, open and genuine. "This future is an unwritten book while the others are possible but discarded storylines. I didn't even know for sure that we'd end up like this," he raised their joined hands. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"The undiscovered country," Tony murmured absently.

"Exactly. It's nice not knowing what'll come next."

Tony put the fingers of his free hand on Stephen's temple. "You're really with me now, aren't you? No mixed-up memories?"

A shake of the head. "Totally with you as of right now. Can barely remember anything else." Another smile. "You have that effect one me - you crowd out everything else and force me to concentrate on you, and you alone."

Tony didn't know if that was supposed to be a compliment or not. "Thank you?" he asked dubiously, still trying to figure out how Stephen had meant the words.

Stephen squeezed his hand with considerable force in silent affirmation. Tony tried to get him to relax before he hurt himself.

"I guess that means I'll have to stay with you, doesn't it? Keep you grounded and from losing yourself in there." He tapped Stephen's temple again. "Hey, does body contact help, too? Because I can totally hold you for an hour or two every day. Longer if it's necessary. Really, no big deal. I can be your life-sized teddy bear." He shoved the memory of another, more than life sized stuffed animal away. Not now. Not ever again. That was the past, this was the present and his future.

"It's been a while since I cuddled with… a teddy bear," Stephen said. _With someone_ , Tony heard.

"Do you want to?"

Stephen blushing and ducking his head in the most adorable way answered that question in the most satisfactory way. Tony grinned and _pounced_.

He ended up next to Stephen, with Stephen's head on his shoulder. Okay, so Stephen was a cuddler. That was great news. Tony slowly put an arm around him to draw him even closer. "Good?" he asked, still not quite daring to believe that this was what Stephen needed.

"Perfect," was the quiet answer, followed by an even quieter "sorry." He didn't need to say for what, Tony could imagine the ugly thoughts inside Stephen's pretty head only too well. They weren't that different, after all.

"Don't be. I've had worse first dates. This is in the top three actually." He kissed Stephen's temple. "No, forget that. It's the best one ever. Normally, people just want to fuck me. Cuddling isn't high up on the list of first date things to do."

Stephen snuggled closer. "A shame. You're really good at cuddling."

Tony couldn't resist _that_ opening. "I'm rather good at fucking too, thank you very much."

He got another one of those quiet laughs he already loved for that. Stephen took a deep breath. "I don't doubt that. But let's save it for the second date? Not that I don't want to but…"

Tony didn't want to hear it. "Shh." As if he had any desire to add sex to a day like this. He even, and with great difficulty, restrained from asking if Stephen remembered anything of their sex life in other timelines. All in good time.

"This is nice," Stephen confessed in a quiet voice and Tony congratulated himself for his new-found tact.

"It is," he agreed. "I always liked cuddling." One of his biggest secrets. Only a handful of people knew about it.

"Hmm. I've never…" The sentence never got finished but Tony could imagine the rest all too well. Stephen somehow managed to cuddle even closer. "You're so warm," he murmured. "Feels nice." A few moments later he abruptly relaxed into Tony's hold, his head sliding down until it came to rest on Tony's chest. The Cloak adjusted himself to cover him again.

Tony just stared. "Did you really just fall asleep during on me during our heart-to-heart?"

"At least he's sleeping," came Wong's voice from the still open doorway. "He hasn't been doing much of that lately."

Only the knowledge that him freaking out would disturb the man sleeping in his arms kept Tony from jumping out of bed and suiting up. "Wong," he said instead. "Please tell me that you found a way to help him." He looked back at Stephen, who looked much more adorable than a grown man Tony wanted to have sex with had any right to look. "He was almost completely out of it when I came here to pick him up."

"I notice that your date has escalated rather quickly, I see." Wong seemed pleased at that turn of events and nodded at Stephen. "I didn't take him for a cuddler."

"Neither did I, actually, but I'm not complaining. I like clingy. Makes it less awkward when I cling back."

"I see. Just continue to cling to each other then and hopefully he'll be grounded in this reality for good."

They both looked at Stephen who was so deeply asleep that not even their conversation stirred him. It spoke volumes about his exhaustion as well as his trust in Tony. The first was worrisome, the second made Tony's heart do things it had no business doing at his age.

"He said something along those lines," he murmured. "He's gotten better the longer I was here."

"The key was finding something - or someone - that anchors him in this reality. Gratulations, it seems that you are it."

Stephen was beautiful. The thought was random and hit Tony like a ton of bricks. The way he relaxed, molded himself against Tony's body, the sheer _trust_ he'd exhibited the whole evening…

"What do I have to do?" he asked. What could _he_ do to help someone as strong and amazing as Stephen?

Wong somehow managed to look unimpressed without looking different at all. "Be there for him," he said slowly, as if speaking to a child. "Hold him, kiss him, do whatever it takes to drive the point home that this is the reality he's supposed to live in. Keep his mind from searching out different memories in search of something he lacks here."

"That's it?" That sounded dubious. No way it could be that easy, nothing ever was. "No magical light show? Chanting? A tea ceremony or two?"

"That's it," Wong confirmed in the same bland tone he'd used before but there was a smile lurking on his face. "You seem rather capable of doing what's required."

"I'm good at clinging to people I like," Tony confessed. "Too much or so I've been told over and over again."

"Stephen won't complain," Wong promised. "He's rather clingy himself. You should have seen how hard he tried to get closer to me while completely missing the signs that I already liked him." Wong shook his head. "As if I had let him steal my books if I didn't."

Tony had no idea what Wong was talking about but somehow knew that he wasn't supposed to ask. "You like him?" he repeated instead, zeroing in on the one piece of information that really interested him in the moment. His hold around Stephen tightened even more in an attempt to keep the man close.

"As a _friend_. He's rather likeable that way. Don't tell him that I said that and don't worry, Stark, no competition from me. Or anybody else as far as I know. Even if - he only has eyes for you anyway in case you haven't noticed."

"Oh," was Tony's very eloquent response to that lovely little revelation but he still didn't relax his hold. Stephen murmured something unintelligible and snuggled closer, his right hand grabbing at nothing until Tony caught it and held it in a careful grip.

"He's yours." Wow, Wong really liked to drive a point home, didn't he? "Take care of him, will you?"

Tony looked up at him. "Otherwise?"

"Otherwise you'll have a big problem your fancy tech will not be capable of saving you from."

It wasn't even really a threat but a stab of fear like he hadn't felt in years almost took his breath away. Not fear of Wong - the man was just a grumpy teddy bear, really, Tony had figured that one out ages ago - but fear of disappointing or failing Stephen. He couldn't fuck this up, it was too important.

The full weight of his new responsibility dawned on Tony and he closed his eyes for a moment.

"Breathe, Stark. Tony. Just be yourself, Stephen doesn't need anything else from you."

"That was never enough before," Tony whispered after a moment but Wong was already gone and so there was no response, apart from the Cloak squeezing him in silent comfort. "Thank you." He was reduced to thanking a piece of _cloth_. "See what you make me do?" he murmured, careful to be quiet enough to not disturb Stephen. "I'm talking with your Cloak because you decided to check out in the middle of our conversation."

He wanted to bend down and kiss Stephen but that would have to wait until he was awake again. Instead, he shifted them both around until he found a position he could - hopefully - hold for a while.

"I would wish you sweet dreams," he told Stephen, "but I think that 'no dreams' is more appropriate right now. Just rest and try to reign in the chaos in there. I've had enough crazy magic users in my life, there's no need to add you to their ranks." Instead of a kiss he put his left hand on Stephen's forehead as if he could help him that way. "Come back to me. Real life is so much more interesting than fading dreams and memories. Believe me, I know."

* * *

There was something warm and soft on his forehead. That was the first thing Stephen noticed. _Tony's hand_ , he realized after a moment. Tony's other arm was around his waist, pinning him in place, and the Cloak was holding on to his wrists. He was immobilized, barely able to move but instead of panic there was only contentment and a sense of peace he couldn't remember having ever felt before.

In any timeline.

"Tony?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

The hold around his body didn't vanish but the hand from his forehead did and slipped backwards to support his neck instead. He opened his eyes and looked directly into Tony's beautiful eyes and smiling face.

"Hey, Stephen. You with me?" There was some fear in Tony's voice but mostly something Stephen recognized as love. The memories of his other lives where fading but he could never forget how Tony looked and sounded when he was in love.

"Always," he answered after a moment. It took Tony a moment but when he leaned down Stephen surrendered into the kiss with a smile, all thoughts of other possibilities gone for the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed my latest recycling of the same plot. (Write what you love/want to read - I'm sticking to this advice like Peter to a wall. Sorry.) 🤍 Comments and Kudos are always very appreciated.


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